Someone, or more likely something, out there in the surveillance world thinks I’m a senior. For years now I’ve been receiving mail from AARP and its adjacent services. If there’s a new clinic for seniors, they’ll make sure to mail me a card. They even followed me after I moved apartments!

Most recently, the surveillance machinery figured out I speak Russian so I got this nice card offering help in renewing my Medicare. (Which I don’t have because I’m in my thirties.) They’re so close, and yet so far.

“Medicare is a complicated program…”